so, I've never really understood that expression...but it was utilized in a funny way tonight at Suz's birthday so I thought to ponder its original meaning. Yep, nothing coming to me...
wow, what a weekend. my journal has seen more of my writing in the last few days than it has seen in years. so many things I realize about myself and all that surrounds me. what I wish for, what I have, and also what I realize I no longer want. everyday I'm getting closer to finishing my "perfect day." amazing how much that day has changed in the last several years. when I finish it completely, I will post in on here. yay for life. I've meditated a lot the last week and my mind is quieter than ever.
what baffles me more than anything else is why people settle in life?! be it in relationships, careers, overall happiness, etc. I'm picky, from the men I date, to the underwear and bra that hug me all day, to the books I read, jobs I hold, tv I watch, foods I eat, etc. and my daily choices shape me in every way. I refuse to settle. that may mean relationships last short periods of time because I realize all too soon that it's not something I see lasting. or perhaps paying my bills may get a little stressful but I don't hate myself every morning going to a job I despise. at the end of the day, I can face myself in the mirror and know that I've made the right decisions for me. I can't even begin to imagine giving someone an ultimatum for marriage, keeping a job just because of the financial gain even if every day meant misery, hanging around people that bring me down because I'm too "nice" to say otherwise, or any number of other scenarios. life is too short, ya know?! some decisions prove to be very wrong, but rather than sticking with them for another year due to my inability to or rather fear of change, I embrace the mistakes and realize without them I wouldn't be where I am...but then I cut my losses and move on. head held high, goals in sight, and heart pushing me forward...I do just that, move. sometimes in the wrong direction...but eventually, I find my path.
I see people in my daily encounters that don't enjoy life. either they have settled to be with someone because they were too afraid to wait for the right someone to come along. they complain about life's unfairness, the cards they've been dealt, the careers they have, the cars they drive, the homes they live in...and on and on. nothing gets more annoying than someone who complains and does nothing to change his/her situation. anything is possible. really.
I don't come from privilege. I don't have a perfect body. I'm not the most beautiful person alive. I pass judgements. I have mood swings. I'm far from perfection. BUT, I've managed to find MY happiness. and it's not a daily struggle. it actually comes quite easily when I stay true to the path I want to be on.
Life is too short. take too many pictures. say "I love you" and mean it. remember dreams really do come true with a lot of hard work. so go after what you want...what's the worst that could happen?? if the answer to the question is not "the end of the world," take a chance. who knows where it'll lead. and above all else, STOP COMPLAINING. seriously.
Ending on a happy note...tonight was wonderful. Surprising, to be truthful. Can't wait for a repeat. ;) Life is fabulous. Oh, and I'm happy to report my lips are back to normal...never again will I take that for granted!
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