always crying...

I've been told that I have a tendency towards the dramatic...and along with that comes strong emotions that I have no problem sharing with the world. I don't hide behind stuff...if I'm sad, I'm sad. When I wanna cry, I cry. Mostly I smile and laugh, but there are days, like today, where emotions get the better of me and I cry. Sometimes I cry from joy, other times sadness, and the most bizarre is when I don't even know why but emotions need to be let loose. Today's been one of the last. I'm sick so that tends to make me even more emotional than usual...and this well of water within me doesn't seem to have an end in sight.

One thing that got me teary-eyed was Sedona's gift to me. I love that her family shows their love for one another and everyone around them through words...and by that, I mean poetry, song, or a personalized notecard telling of your importance to them. I'm getting all choked up just rereading what Sedona said to me...although it's personal, I will share it here as this is a sort of refuge for me (one I don't utilize as often as my written journal), but special nonetheless.

Lenka,
You are such a wonderful friend to me. You're a listener and a sharer. You are beautiful and talented and you are so comfortable in your skin. I admire how you will stand up for yourself in any situation. I hope some of you rubs off on me.

Yep, I'm crying all over again. In life you try to be the kind of person that people admire or that makes a difference. And sometimes you don't know that you're actually accomplishing that goal...and then someone important to you shares with you that they want to have qualities you possess (that you weren't necessarily even aware of) and it gives you a feeling that's indescribable.

I never leave an Erwin party without crying at least once. And I think it's a beautiful tradition that I will want to start in my own life. Yes I say I love you at every opportunity...but sometimes letting someone know all the reasons why makes it that much more special. I know I would have been just as touched had Sedona just said I love you...but somehow her notecard said that much and more. Have I mentioned I'm lucky to have such a wonderful friend/sister in my life?!

So today I cried for various reasons...some frustration, some sadness, some joy, and some from extra emotions brought on by sickness. And then Sedona made me realize that even through my craziness and drama, I'm strong and comfortable in my own skin. I don't apologize for my beliefs, choices, or decisions. I'm me...take me or leave me. I stand up when something doesn't feel right. And I'm proud of who I've become. I still learn everyday and I make unnecessary judgements. I know I'm not perfect. But I'm perfectly happy with who I am.

This is such a soppy entry. And to anyone reading...I make no apologies. Some days you forget the influence you've had or how wonderful you are...I'm lucky that on such a day, Sedona reminded me and I realized she was right. Now I'm gonna go write more in my journal, and hope the tears are gone by tomorrow.