Mom

I just ask anyone reading this to keep her in your thoughts and prayers...if you believe in prayer. I'm not gonna get into details as I'm only home from the hospital for a shower and change of clothes, but I never understood just how painful it would be to lose her until I almost did on Wednesday...and any help from the wonderful people in my life in sending good vibes her way would be greatly appreciated.

I will update when she's home and well and I have more time for writing. For now, know she is in a great deal of pain and breathing goes from bad to good to bad with each passing moment...however, I believe she's over the worst of it and look forward to getting her home.

Love you all. Thanks for the get well thoughts I know you'll be sending.

2007

This year got off to a rocky start. I gave someone power over my heart and emotions and it took me a while to get it back. No regrets...only lessons learned. It was a year of many lessons...lessons that tested my own strength and ones which made me grow. I had my first near death experience in a roll-over accident. This year brought many laughs, tears, and everything in between. For the first time since I started working, I don't have a 9-5 job. I witnessed two great friends get married. I said goodbye to a great friend when she moved away to Australia. I've made new friends for life and have had some of my best friends come back into my life. I made my first independent film. I ran my first half-marathon (which nearly killed me!) I renewed my commitment to veganism. I got an agent. And, I found an amazing acting coach.

Let's see...some favorites this year:

Book: "Eat, Pray, Love"
Movie(s): Juno, Once, Gone Baby Gone, Waitress, Live Free or Die Hard, Transformers
Quote: Life is just too sweet to be bitter - Kris Carr "Crazy Sexy Cancer"
Wine: "Flowers" Pinot Noir
Moment: as bizarre as it sounds, every moment. This year, more than any other, I've really been able to achieve living for the moment.
Restaurant(s): Real Food Daily (West Hollywood), Mandala Tea Room (Scottsdale)
Drink(s): Dr Oz's green drink, Smartwater, Vitaminwater XXX
Concert: Dave Matthews
Store(s): Samual French, Borders, Trader Joes, Whole Foods, Wild Oats
Website(s): amazon, myspace, craigslist, fandango
Trade paper: Backstage West
Snack: Vanilla Almond Luna Bar
TV: Life, Grey's Anatomy, Closer, Army Wives, Private Practice, Heroes, Iconoclasts

When I think of more, I'll share them on here.

What does the year ahead look like...First of all, the idiot's reign in the White House is finally almost over!!! Italy in the summer, moving to CA in the fall. Those are the big ones. Hopefully paid acting gigs, "Survey" getting a theatrical release, perhaps love...who knows. The only thing I know is I'm going to enjoy every minute.

2007 hasn't been without its bumps and bruises...but honestly, one of the best years to date...I look forward to an even better 2008. To everyone who surrounds me, I love you all. Here's wishing you a wonderful New Year!

Vegan Tiramisu

Wow, yet another reason I love LA so much (as if I needed any more reasons to want to move back yesterday)...the plethura of vegan restaurants is fantastic. And not just vegan restaurants, ridiculously delicious vegan restaurants! Below you will find the names of the two I just visited the last couple of days. I highly recommend both.

Vegan Plate in Studio City
Right Food Daily (RFD) in West Hollywood

Tonight was the first time I'd tried vegan tiramisu...something, I now know, I will not have to give up with my choice of lifestyle...it was incredible.

To anyone who reads this located in the Phoenix area, my favorite restaurant there is Mandala Tea Room, an organic vegan restaurant located in South Scottsdale. If you're afraid to try something new on your own and you have my number, give me a call anytime and I'm down.

I also need to mention kudos for something else I've been drinking the last week, every morning. It is Dr. Oz's green drink:

Half a lemon
Apple
Handful of spinach
1/4 cup of parsley
thumbnail size ginger root piece
1/2 cucumber
1/8 cup of water

I have the benefit of a magic bullet...but you can use a blender if need be. The drink takes on the taste of the lemon the most, and is an applesaucy (is that a word?) texture...but it's delicious and nutritious. I look forward to mine daily.

Now I'm gonna go shower and work on my script for tomorrow...yay!

my last day as a pseudo-vegetarian

Starting tomorrow, I am back to a vegan lifestyle. I've been resisting it for a while only because one of my favorite things to eat is sushi. I haven't eaten red meat in over ten years and all other meat (besides fish) in over four. However, today I got the final kick in the @ss that I needed to go back to the only lifestyle that makes sense to me. I was reading Sedona's copy of "Skinny Bitch" and though I've done research in the past and known everything there is to know about the horrors of factory farming and the effect our (by "our," I mostly mean the U.S.) ridiculous lifestyles have on the environment and world around us...a chapter of quotes from those very people who skin alive, boil alive and torture the defenseless animals so many people seem to love to consume made me realize the reasons I was a vegan in the past and why I will adopt the healthiest diet and only humane lifestyle I know...for good this time.

To any critics out there, I encourage you to do research on all the shit you put in your body daily, from arsenic, formaldahyde, pesticides, hormones, animal feces, antibiotics (this list goes on forever)...and then come back with some good reasons as to why my choice doesn't make sense to you. And do me a favor and check out a couple websites while you're at it:

www.meat.org
www.factoryfarming.org
www.veganoutreach.org

Better yet, read a book entitled "Slaughterhouse" by Eisnitz or Chapter 6 of "Skinny Bitch" (entitled: You Are What You Eat) and see if you start to look at your own choices a little differently.

I don't judge or criticize other people's dietary choices...but it amazes me how many people I know who judge mine. The only problem I have with meat eaters in this world has to do with the ones who choose to turn a blind eye to the cruelty they contribute to as well as the environmental impact their choices have. If you do the research and know all there is to know and still choose your lifestyle, hey...more power to you. But to pretend none of it is happening so that you feel less guilt in your choice is just ridiculous. Nothing is worse than ignorance.

Something I find to be very true is what Stella McCartney said, "if slaughterhouses had glass walls, we'd all be vegetarians." Not to mention, if you stop and think even for a second about what it is you're actually consuming, decomposing flesh that has most likely been dead for weeks (btw, that estimate is the optimistic one) before it even got to your table, your choice may be different as well.

Just my thoughts.

Interesting thoughts by someone else...this is the preface from "Old McDonald's Factory Farm," by C. David Coates.

"Isn't man an amazing animal? He kills wildlife by the millions in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billions and eats them. This in turn kills man by the millions, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative-and fatal-health conditions like heart disease, kidney disease, and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year sends out cards praying for 'Peace on Earth.'"

annoyed...ugh!

So I just got home and I have a feeling sleep won't be coming to me anytime soon. Not gonna go into details as to why I'm a little upset...because I don't know if I'm just tired and the feelings are unfounded or if my reasons are legitimate. Nevertheless, I'm wasting some time on the internet and thought to write that there's a small part of me that wants to scream right now. AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! Ok, on paper (computer) it's not as liberating but since everyone in my household is asleep that will have to do. If I was a guy, would I feel the same way? Am I just being a girl tonight in my annoyance? I'm not sure. Wish it wasn't so late so I could get lost in a hike right now and let my mind wander in nature rather than feeling trapped inside the confines of my room. I need a drink. Or maybe a good piece of dark chocolate. Or some sex. Scratch that idea, the last thing I need right now is a guy around. Chocolate sounds better anyway. Oh wait, there's pumpkin pie in the fridge. F*ck...I need to fall asleep soon or I'm gonna eat my anger away. And that, I might add, is NEVER a good idea.

I'm just rambling...and to most the above makes absolutely no sense. Whatever. It's my blog and those are my thoughts. That's all I gotta say on the subject.

I GOT IT!

Ok, so I didn't land either role for which I auditioned, but I get to be a part of this incredible project as the best hooker the world's ever seen! I'm beyond excited. Not only am I getting to work with some fantastic people, but have I mentioned how much I love the script?! No joke, it's amazing. I have no doubt it'll do well in the festivals as well as get the theatrical distribution Thomas is hoping for.

For anyone wanting to find out a little more about the project or possibly be interested in helping it get produced/distributed financially, go check out the website: www.surveythemovie.com

Not to mention, go show support when it gets released...but I'm getting way ahead of myself. Don't worry, there will be a follow-up blog when that becomes a reality.

Kinda funny...so I told my mom I got a smaller part as a hooker and she said, "see, you're getting your start just like Julia Roberts...as a prostitute." I find this amusing since she's the person I get compared to the most...probably having more to do with my big smile and "tragic" laugh (as one of my friends put it.) Nevertheless, it made me smile.

This day had some set backs but overall, nothing could take this smile away. Goodnight everyone, I shall try to get to sleep so I can be refreshed tomorrow for the Ford holiday party.

Perfection...

That would be how I would describe my day today...well, starting about two hours after I'd woken up since I didn't feel so great this morning. Nevertheless, the day progressively got better and peaked when I watched the sunset tonight atop North Mountain. So many reasons I love clouds, but on top of that list is definitely the beautiful sunsets they make possible. As I sat up top witnessing nature's beauty, I listened to Enya and found myself completely at peace. There are many times I attempt meditation but few are as successful as today. Anyone who knows me, or most women in general, knows our brains NEVER shut off. I was able to do just that and it was incredible. As I descended down the mountain, I was smiling like an idiot...but was met by many smiles in return. Its strange to me that I've finally gotten on a workout routine and now I'm seeing regulars on the mountain. It's a quiet comaraderie we all share, recognizing one another and smiling, but all of us in our own little worlds with technology beating into our ears, and minds a thousand miles away. Nevertheless, I've come to rely on those regulars to get me to the mountain the next day, knowing I'll get that nod of acknowledgement and smile and can merrily go along.

My peace was slightly interrupted as I was walking home because I saw tire marks that showed a car out of control having jumped the curb onto the sidewalk on which I walk. That made my heart skip a beat as I did not see those marks on the way to the mountain...and by the looks of the tire marks, the car would have taken out anyone walking at that time. Happy to know I was not a witness to the incident.

Anyway, I get home and am about to go out and rent "Phone Booth" because Keifer Sutherlands character is one I'm supposed to think about when rehearsing for one of my upcoming auditions. I turn on the tv to finish my dinner first and wouldn't you know it, it was just starting on cable. Is it a sign? I'm gonna go with YES! Have I mentioned I'm looking forward to channeling my darker side :)

Yep, it's been a good day!

A Little Apprehensive...

So, I have an audition set for next Saturday in LA again. As much as I normally LOVE the drive, I'm a little terrified this time around. This will be the first time I make the trip since my roll-over and I'm hoping not too many tires find themselves torn apart around me.

Nevertheless, very excited about this opportunity. Its a role I submitted myself for just yesterday. And could mean my getting SAG eligibility. Not to mention it's a great script with complex characters.

Wish me luck...for the drive as well as my audition! :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone...I'm about to go feast on a fantastic meal!

Feelin much better...

Today's been a productive day. Cleaned and changed around my room. Submitted myself for about six auditions I found in backstage west. Had a fantastic glass of Pinot Noir. Went to work only to find that Rusty didn't need me tonight...so I finally get a night to myself. Was going to see a movie but decided instead to stop by a bookstore and come home to get under the covers and lost in a book. So now I find myself in pjs hours before I expected and I'm smiling gleefully. I'm content. Peaceful. Which after yesterday, I welcome with open arms.

Perhaps I'm thinking about the meal I'm about to enjoy tomorrow. Or that I finally get to meet a future brother-in-law. I love big family gatherings. There's also a part of me really looking forward to Friday. Maybe more than I should be. I can't help myself. Martina's big 3-0 and I'm finally hanging out with Jim. Yep, I'm smiling.

Happy Thanksgiving Eve everyone :)

Bad Mood! :(

Wish I knew why I am in such a foul mood today. Yes, it has something to do with not having had time for myself at all the last couple of days...but really, I should be ok with that because I'm so excited to have Martina here. Nevertheless, I'm not happy today and seem to be taking it out on everyone around me. If you're on the receiving end, I apologize. I'll lock myself in my room for a bit and hope to come out with a smile. Send me some jokes if you've got any good ones :) Much appreciated!